When you want more affection and romance in a relationship, it’s natural to feel the urge to ask for it or show more of it in the hopes that your efforts will be reciprocated. But doing this will usually work against you.
A man will feel like you’re trying to force something out of him, and he’ll sense that you’re only giving to him because you want something out of him. This is called “giving to get,” and it does not inspire a man to be more romantic with you.
ARE YOU “GIVING TO GET”? HOW TO TELL
Kissing him to get kissed, touching him to get touched, putting butter on his potato to get a “thank you”, doing anything to get attention…this is all about “giving to get.” It’s something we all do, and not just when it comes to men. Pay attention, and you might discover that you often do things because you expect or want something in return – whether from friends, family, and co-workers.
In order for him to want to shower you with adoration, you need to know how to stay open and receptive to his attention without asking for it. It’s what I call “giving back”. There’s a subtle but important difference.
A DIFFERENT APPROACH: “GIVING BACK”
It’s your joy and sensations and energy that overflow onto a man and thrill him – that get his heart going, his soul tingling, his emotions activated. “Giving back” happens when you show a man how he makes you feel – by thanking him and being affectionate with him.
Changing your approach from “giving to get” to “giving back” takes lots of practice – lots of thinking before you speak, learning to listen, and catching yourself doing something to make something happen and giving something to get something.
With a man, it means not initiating romance or affection when you are feeling like you want more attention, and instead shifting your behavior so that you respond when he comes to you. It’s really all about being an invitation.
FEELING FREE TO EXPRESS YOURSELF
This doesn’t mean that you can’t ever initiate romance with your man, on the contrary. You can be as romantic as you like, so long as you’re coming from a place of showing him affection simply because you want to and not because you’re expecting something in return.
When you genuinely feel like being romantic with your man because you feel so good with him (giving back), then being spontaneously affectionate will make you even more attractive in his eyes.