Name this tune:
In the car, I just can’t wait…
To pick you up on our very first date
Is it cool if I hold your hand?
Okay the number of new wave punk rockers reading eHarmony Advice may not be that large but this rollicking ditty from Blink 182 sure does capture a lot of the ambivalent feelings that almost everyone has when they go out on first dates. No matter how often you have gone out with someone new, the feelings before a first date can get the palms sweating and almost always make the mind race when you go on a first date.
The truth is that a lot of first dates should never even have happened. First dates are not obligatory—you don’t owe it to say yes to every request nor should you expect each person you ask out to immediately jump at the opportunity. First dates take a level of investment and inevitably they come with some degree of anxiety so everyone should take the time to seriously assess whether a first date makes sense.
Many of the questions regarding whether you should go on a first date depends on where you are in your dating life. If you are hoping for a serious relationship at this time in your life you will use a different set of filters to determine if a first date makes sense than if you are at a time in your life when you want casual relationships. And no matter whether you want a serious or a causal relationship you should be asking yourself questions about how this person fits into your life. If dating this person could cause a whole string of repercussions at work, or if going out with the person would put your friends or family through major turmoil you should carefully think through the decision of whether a first date makes sense or not.
eHarmony Labs has developed a brief First Date Checklist to help you think through the decision to date or not to date. This is for those times when you know the person, already have some kind of relationship with them and now you are wondering if dating makes sense. First dates do have consequences and you should take the time to make sure you are making a good decision.