When you start seeing a new man, those butterfly feelings are addicting. While you want to play it cool and not show your feelings far too soon or far too fast, you can help but wonder what makes a man fall in love? And more importantly: what makes a man stay? After so many failed relationships, it’s normal to feel anxious when a could-be relationship is going seemingly well. While there is no magical way to approach this situation and reap the love affair you crave, there are a few indicators that can give you a glimpse into his mind, according to love experts. You might not be able to fully decode how does a man feel when he is in love, but you can save yourself a bit of heartbreak if you discover he’s not illustrating the signs of sincere care and respect.
Here, a guide to help you understand and make the best choice for yourself—and the relationship—moving forward:
You share a deep emotional attraction
Emotional attraction is a powerful metric that allows a man to open up, to share his feelings and connect with a woman on a deeper level than he usually allows into his life. This is what bonds a man to one woman over the long term. But part of why a man will stay isn’t just how emotionally vulnerable he feels when he’s in your company, but in how mature your are in your feelings, too. After all, your emotions and how you communicate them have tremendous power. They have the power to instantly reconnect you and a man, and they have the power to push him away in no time flat. If you want to have a conscious relationship and you want to enjoy the incredible feeling that comes from being able to stay close and connected with the man in your life – even during the tough times or bumps in the road—then you must learn how to ‘own’ your emotions in situations with men, and communicate them in a way that uses their power to benefit you and your relationship…not break it apart. When you can both depend on one another to share be emotionally supportive, not only of one another but as individuals, that’s what will make a man fall in love—big time.
You are independent.
Truth be told, everyone enjoys being needed—whether it’s to reach something on the top shelf or to give advice on a client proposal. How does a man feel when he is in love is tied to how much he admires the woman in his life. In other words: most men are mesmerized by ladies who have a full life, and somehow, invite them to be part of it. When you appear the opposite—centering your whole life around him and already decided he’s the one before he talks about commitment—he’ll feel pressured. Instead, you need to convey to a man that you are selective. Though it might seem somewhat like a game, it will encourage a man stay because he feels like he’s been awarded your attention and company over many others.
Being selective means you let him know that while you like him and enjoy being with him, you are also a woman with options who is in control of what happens to her. How do you do this? By continuing to have a life outside him—nurturing your hobbies, spending time with friends and family, improving your life and career. When you do this, he starts feeling lucky to have a place in your life, and he’ll fight to stay there.
You make his life better by being in it.
How does a man feel when he is in love? Much like you do: smitten, fulfilled, excited – and anxious!—to see his new love interest. He’s also likely questioning plenty of the same aspects you are, and maybe, wondering how he’ll approach your next date or the next time you stay the night together. What makes a man stay and continue to see you is knowing that when he’s around you, he’s happy. It might seem a simple way to define how to keep a man, but most of the time, it boils down to feeling comfortable. The need for commitment arises from an emotional need deep inside a man. In order for a man to see you as a necessary part of his life, you need to create the right kind of experiences that serve to create emotional attraction in him.
A positive experience is anything that you both enjoy and that, above all, is fun. Do different things with him that you both enjoy—play sports along with the usual dinners and movies. Spend time in groups of friends. And invite him to meet yours. Read the paper together and do spontaneous things without planning. Mix it up! All of these experiences show him that you are a woman who is easy and playful to be with, and that’s the kind of woman he’ll realize he’d be a fool to let go of.